So, so you think you can tell Heaven from hell? Blue skies from pain? Can you tell a green field From a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?
Did they get you to trade Your heroes for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze? Cold comfort for change? Did you exchange A walk-on part in the war For a leading role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here We're just two lost souls Swimming in a fish bowl Year after year Running over the same old ground What have we found? The same old fears Wish you were here
- R. Waters and D. Gilmour (before the rift)
Got me thinking about it, this thing we call life [Ed. - totally ripped off from somewhere else, but I forget where just now. Source needed]
Omg. It's Prince. [Ed. - you idiot, of course].
Did I keep my walk-on part in the war? That's the one that gets me - did I? Or did I take the cage?
All I know is that I chose yes more often than not, took risks I maybe shouldn't have taken. I never made VP, I never had a kid, I switched jobs everytime I got bored and frustrated. I saved *some* money, but I wasn't exactly frugal. I slept with people I shouldn't have, for all the reasons people look for meaning in someone else. I had an enthusiastic relationship with intoxicants of many kinds for too long than was good for me [Ed. - or any human, really]. I spoke my mind. I didn't hide my feelings. Sometimes it turned out well, sometimes um, not so much.
Maybe my biggest risk was throwing my cards in with Harald. It was terrifying I'm sure, for a number of people who knew me and/or loved me. As our wedding MC said: "it's quite a person to get the Jacksons to talk to each other, and he did!" [Ed. - the same friend performed the same service at my brother and his bride's wedding, which happened to be on my birthday. Kerry gave lovely toasts and congratulated the delightful couple, and ended on this note: "This day just proves how far the Jacksons will go to avoiding Andrea's birthday" and then led the crowd in a chorus of Happy Birthday. That's my brother from another mother.]
I remember the other female consultants like me at work (think Accenteloitte&PowerWC) not exactly knowing what to say.
Them: Cute! Is this the temporary one? How many carats is your real one? [Ed. - yes, apparently this exists]
Me: Um. This is the ring. It was made by an old Polish guy on Queen who makes pickles in his storefront where the sun is, and jewellery in the back. He's hilarious, we love him.
Them: Ohhh, that's soooo nice.
I remember leading up to our wedding (the 1st one) I started to get really anxious and panicky about this thought: If I'm married, what exciting adventure will I ever get to experience again? I guess this is the end of daring and wild abandonment. [Ed. - 100% Dead Fucking Wrong, girlie]
The Mad Austrian, my love, H, Harald (never ever ever Harry) and I have had more adventures than I ever thought possible. Turns out he was really is ultimately, frustratingly, grumpily, vociferously, beautifully, passionately, maddeningly my wish-you-were-here person.
Even when we want to kill each other. ;)